My heart earned truth... Yes my "heart" not "hard"

 The older I get the less wiser my mind seems to inject, the heading says it for all. At an age to be financially stable or at least have some cable, wouldn't that be a great call. And now am here spiraling down a wrong tunnel and the is no light in sight. I know am messing up and yet still digging my own grave. What happened to that guy, that bought a dream and applied it and not allowed it to melt like Ice cream. Is it the occupation I choose, wait let me pause, I see myself drowning in debts, and alcohol, I need some kinda intervention...heal my mind and yeah that be some sort of convention. Mentally not fine, really just in need some kind of direction.

Siting an ending, and yet my mind comes out lacking. Im losing it, the focus.

When life gives you the shoe

It was just the other day when i met this exquisite individual, it was dark, it was cold and everything about this individual kept pulling me to her... She had this laugh that could just lighten that moment, her presence had to come as a blessing, being just retrenched from work a few weeks ago and losing my girlfriend to my best friend, finally this women provided a glimpse of hope, a venture into a world of love once again... but who was this lady, everything  she says just comes out right... I laugh to myself as i escort her to my car, smiling bluntly because I' am gone get lucky today... on the way home she smiles and squick I can't wait to have you for myself, we reach my place... we fool around on the couch and than we slowly find our self in bed... she works wonders in bed and compliments me for satisfying all her desires... I stand up feeling all proud of myself... only to be standing in front of a huge man with a gun twice his arm size... He shots and I slip he misses, bullet kills his wife, I faint after the shot.... he thinks he shot me and his girl with one bullet... he screams saying you will never cheat on me again... He turns around and shots himself, now i wake up... with two dead bodies in my house... amused and shocked at the same time how does such a beautiful day start so bad, go so great and end so wrong.... Only to pick up the Gun and shot myself...
Twaaasssh.....
ONLY TO WAKE UP.... DAMN IT WAS JUST A DREAM.
But when this happens to you... life just give you the shoe.